1. Eating Healthy
Type 1 and Type 2 are NOT the same. We are usually NOT FAT. We are conscious carbohydrate counters. We don’t let ourselves ‘go’. (note- we are often VERY attractive).
Type 1 Diabetic:
Type 2 Diabetic:
2. Sharing Needles!
“Hey can I use that needle when you’re done with it?” is a CLASSIC phrase heard among diabetic communities.
With the prevalence of greedy pharmaceutical companies and health care costs at an all-time high, us diabetics must work as a team to stay afloat financially.
3. Using Diabetes as a PERFECT Excuse for EVERYTHING
You’ve no doubt become a way shittier friend and overall flakier/unreliable person since getting diagnosed! This is your get out of jail free card. Nobody can ask questions or doubt you without sounding like an insensitive jerk.
- To Employers: “Sorry. Can’t work today. Diabetes Stuff.” (when really you are just tired).
- In public settings you milk your condition to cut long lines and to get attention!
- With friends you pull a “I’m feeling low” as an excuse to finish their starbucks frappe.
4. “Diabeetus”
It is not the multiple daily shots, the constant blood checking, the highs/lows, or superfluous doctors appointments – the absolute fucking worst part for us diabetics is telling new people about our condition, only to have them do their best “DIABEETUS” impersonation.
You know who you are and shame on you.
5. Scrutiny
Ignorant friends and family members will occasionally take it upon themselves to micro-manage your condition.
These asswipes will say something like: “Are you allowed to eat that? That is A LOT of sugar.”
To which you respond: “haha. nice. lol. good one…GIVE ME THAT GODDAMN DUNKIN DONUT BEFORE I COME KICK YOUR TEETH IN AND GRAB IT MYSELF.”
6. The Homosexual Urges
Apart from the ‘typical’ side-effects of taking insulin (lightheadedness, shakiness, hunger, etc..), did you know that this drug is also commonly known to make you want to have crazy rampant sex with other dudes? Next time you see your diabetic friend on the ground acting loopy/crazy, you’ll know what they’re really asking for!
7. Pictures of Nick Jonas Covering Your Wall
It makes the daily grind of our condition that much easier knowing some of our celebrity IDOLS are right there in the trenches with us.
Nick, u r a true artist and an INSPIRATION! I did not have the courage to
open up about my struggle until I saw the movie Camp Rock.
Nick, u r cuuute and I want 2 have sex with u bb !!
8. Going A Week Without Managing Your Condition!
We all have our ‘cheat days’ (intentionally or inadvertently) where we leave the insulin at home, neglect to check our sugar levels, eat like shit, and pass out while driving!
9. Crying Yourself To Sleep Every Night
Friends often send you links to articles such as “Cure for Diabetes In The Works”… but after hundreds of them over the years, you know better.
And it’s not always just the false hope of a cure – some diabetics are coincidentally also just genuinely depressed and hate their sad, pathetic, mundane lives.
10. The Inevitability of Death
Some of the greatest philosophers through the ages were most likely Type 1s because they get it. This is something that non-diabetics will just NEVER understand! We know full well that death is right around the corner, and probably MUCH closer for those of us with this terrible autoimmune disease.
JUST STATIC 